


Amnesia

by toomanystoriessolittletime



Category: John Wick (Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, First Love, Memory Loss, Miscarriage, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21901333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomanystoriessolittletime/pseuds/toomanystoriessolittletime
Summary: He never thought he would ever see her again. Being divorced for 20 years, he hadn’t heard a thing from her after their last court date. When he got the call from a hospital in New York, telling him his ex-wife had been in an accident and only remembered being married to someone named Jardani, he couldn’t help but went back to see her. Even if that meant to relive the worst days of his life.
Relationships: John Wick/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

John had been a thousand miles from New York when he got the call. He never thought he would hear anything from her ever again. Because he had screwed up. And it had been 20 years. He had lived a whole life without her. And she without him. A life he didn’t wanted to involve anyone in. That’s why he got out for Helen. That’s also why he got back in after Helen died. Sometimes he had asked himself, if his life would have taken a different path, if he had got out 20 years ago. Before he even became the Baba Yaga. Before he became John Wick. When he was just Jordani. Back then he had a reputation, but it was nothing from what it was now. That came after. After he lost his wife to his lies. And after they took their unborn child from them both.

“What is the last thing you remember, Elle?” Dr. Miller asked. Elle sighed.  
“I am at home. I’m cooking dinner for Jor. After that it gets all foggy.”  
“What year is it?  
“What kind of question is that?” Elle asked confused.  
"Just humour me.” Dr. Miller smiled.  
“It’s October the 5th. 1999.” She answered. “When will my husband be here?”  
“We called him. But he’s on a work trip. He’ll be here with you tomorrow.”  
“I don’t remember him being away.” Elle said. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t remember what happened at all.  
“You will get there. I promise. After the fall you took, it’s quite usual to have amnesia.”  
“Amnesia?” She asked gasping. Dr. Miller nodded.  
“Dr. Miller? How long have I been out?”  
“You were in a coma for about a week.” Dr. Miller answered.  
“But that’s not all, isn’t it?”  
“What makes you say that?”  
“Well first of all, I have never seen a TV like that.” Elle gestured to the Flat Screen hanging on the wall.  
“Also the nurse had some king of technical pad for her notes. I have never seen something like that either. It looked like something straight out of Star Trek.” Dr. Miller sighed, but smiled.  
“I intended to tell you, after Mr. Wick got here, but I don’t think you can wait till then.”  
“Mr. Wick?” Elle asked.  
Dr. Miller came to stand next to Elle’s bed, sitting down beside her.  
“Elle. You were hit by a Taxi on your way to work two weeks ago. You work at the New York public library as Chief Curator.” He made a pause to watch Elle’s reaction. When he found her calm, he continued.  
“Your last emergency contact, that was still reachable was your ex-husband.”  
“I don’t have a ex- husband.” Elle stated confused.  
“You were divorced almost 19 years ago, Elle.”  
“You must have the wrong information. I’m happily married for 3 years. My husband works in…” Yes, what did Jor work exactly in again?  
“He was with the marines, but now he’s not…” Elle continues, trying to remember. She knew it had something to do with weapons.  
“He will be able to fill in the gaps, I’m sure. Elle? I need you to be calm now.” Elle laughed.  
“What? Are you going to tell me, that I forgot the last 20 years?” She laughed and watched Dr. Miller and expected him to join her in laughing, but he never did.  
“Oh my god.” She breathed out. “Dr. Miller. What year is it?” Elle asked.  
“It’s 2019, Elle.”  
……

“Before I let you in there, Mr. Wick, you need to tell me what your relationship with Elle was in the last 20 years. The last day she remembers is October 5h 1999.” Dr. Miller, the head of Neuro told John. He had finished his contract as soon as he got the call, and made his way back to New York.  
“She doesn’t remember anything after that date?” He asked. Dr. Miller nodded. John lay his head back, to watch the celling. She doesn’t remember.  
“I moved out 6 weeks after that date, because we had a… fight, which later ended in us getting divorced. I haven’t seen here since the court date.”  
“So you have no idea what she has been up to, since you got divorced?” Dr. Miller asked him.  
“I know that she’s been working at the New York Public library. But other than that, no. She didn’t want to remain in contact.”  
“You were never violent with her? I have to ask this, to make sure, you are no danger to my patient.”  
John looked at the Doctor. How dare he?  
“I would never lay a hand on her.” He pressed out, trying to remain calm.  
“Why does she keep calling you Jardani?”  
That name he hadn’t heard in a while.  
“I changed my name for my job after our divorce.” He explained.  
“Okay. Maybe let her call you by the name she knows. I know it’s confusing, but it would be better for her. She’s already trying to live with the fact that she’s divorced and that she can’t remember the last 20 years.”  
John nodded.  
“Will she regain her memories at some point?” John asked.  
“There is no way to say this at this point. Her head took a very hard fall, when the Taxi hit. We have to see what the future brings. In a way she was lucky. She only has a couple fractured rips and bruises.”  
That didn’t sound very convincing to John. If she wouldn’t remember, he would have to tell her at some point. He couldn’t relive that again.  
“Keep in mind, that she still is very weak. I don’t know why you got divorced, but maybe not tell her right away.” Dr. Miller led John to her room. John wouldn’t say it, but he was scared. He was scared to see her. Scared to shatter her world to pieces once again.  
“You’re ready, Mr. Wick?” Dr. Miller asked.  
“Yeah.” John answered.

…..

Elle didn’t even look up, when the door opened. There was always a nurse, or a doctor coming in. She had been here, awake, for a week, and no visitor had been here. It made her wonder, if she had any friends or family. The last she remembered, she was 23 years old and happily married. Now she was 42 and divorced. And apparently without any people in her life that cared about her. It wasn’t normal, that no one visits her, wasn’t it?  
“Elle?” She startled at that voice, and turned her head to the door. Tears were already burning in her eyes.  
“Jar…” She whispered, and couldn’t help the sob, that came out of her chest. He looked so different. That wasn’t the man she married. The man she married was in his twenties. He always was in a shirt and jeans and his hair was short.  
The man that was standing in her room wore a very expensive looking suit. Probably fitted just for him. He had longer hair and a beard. And he definitely wasn’t in his twenties.  
The eyes that looked at her full of concern were the same though.  
John crossed the room in a couple of steps and pulled Elle in his arms. It was an instinct. He never could see her cry.  
“Ow.” She whined, and John let her go immediately.  
“Sorry.” He carefully sat down on her bed, just looking at her.  
“You look different.” She said.  
“You look like you’ve been hit by a car.” He smiled sheepishly. She laughed, before she winced.  
“Don’t make me laugh. My rips hurt.”  
“Sorry. Again.”  
They starred at each other. They both hadn’t seen each other in 20 years, but only John remembered those years.  
“What happened to us? What happened to me?” Elle asked after a while.  
John sighed, and grabbed her hand, that was laying beside her on the bed.  
“I think this is a story for when you’re stronger. We need you to get out of this hospital first.”  
“I’m not allowed to leave unless I have someone who’s with me for 24 hours. And apparently I don’t have any friends or family, as my ex-husband is the first visitor I have after being hit by a car.”  
“You could stay with me.” John suggested without second thought.  
Elle raised her right eyebrow.  
“Don’t you have a job, or a wife or whatever that has something to say against that?” She asked.  
“I’m off or the next 3 weeks at least. And there is no wife or girlfriend.” Not anymore he added in his thoughts.  
“No one?”  
“Well I have a dog.”  
“You have a dog.” She repeated.  
“You don’t have to do this.”  
“I want to.”  
“Jar, did we stay in contact? After our divorce? Because I can see regret in your eyes. I don’t know what happened between us. Did I hate you? After we separated?”  
“We didn’t. Stay in contact. And I think you hated me. But I hated myself too. But I never stopped loving you.” Elle looked at him. She could see faded scars in his face. He looked tired. Like he hadn’t had a good nights sleep in a long time.  
“Am I going to hate you again, when I remember?”  
“Probably.” He sighed.  
A couple minutes went by in which both didn’t say anything.  
“Let’s talk to Dr. Miller. If he’s okay with me leaving, I’ll go with you.” Elle decided after a while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this a while back but only now came to upload it here. Posted first on tumblr.

John had been to her apartment in Brooklyn to pick up some clothes and other stuff, before he picked Elle up at the hospital 4 days later. They would have to get back for her therapy three times a week, but most of all she should take time to relax and get better. Fortunately for her, the only real injury she had was a couple broken rips and her head. Apart from that, she was okay.  
“We’re not living in Queens anymore?” She asked, as John drove his car out of New York.  
“I haven’t lived in Queens for a long time. You lived in Brooklyn apparently. It’s a nice apartment.”  
“Maybe we can go there next week?” She asked.  
“Definitely.”  
“Where we going now?”  
“Mill Neck.”  
“Oh?”  
“You’ll like it there.”  
“You’ve come a long way from our crappy apartment in Queens.” She teased.  
“It wasn’t that crappy.” He argued.  
“Please. There was no hot water, and it occasionally rained through the ceiling.”  
“It still was our home.” He said softly. Remembering the many happy moments they had there, before…  
“It was.” She smiled.

She must have fallen asleep at some point. John gently shook her, to wake her.  
“We’re here. I already brought your stuff in. I’m going to warn you, Dog is very excited to meet you.”  
“Does the dog have a name?” She yawned.  
“No.”  
“What do you mean no? You just call him dog?”  
John nodded.  
“Jesus. Jar…” Headshaking she got out of the car and gasped as she saw the house. It was a beautiful white house with big windows. If she looked closely she could see a lake at the end of the property. And there was a tennis court.  
“What do you do for a living again?” She asked, as she followed him to the entrance.  
“That’s a story for another day.” He said quietly. He could hear his dog on the other side of the door.  
“Now, before we get in there. I have to tell you some things. First. After we divorced I changed my name. I’m known as John Wick now.”  
“Any particular reason for that?” She asked.  
“You know I never liked my name. Also it’s easier to spell.”  
“So you want me to call you John now?”  
“If you want to.” He turned around to face her completely for the next part.  
“I was married once after you. There still are pictures of her and myself up everywhere in the house. Her name was Helen. She died 6 months ago.”  
“I’m so sorry, Jor.. John. What happened?” She squeezed his shoulder.  
“Cancer. I only got five years with her.” He could feel the tears burning in his eyes.  
“I miss her every day.” He almost whispered, before he turned from her and opened the door.

Dog didn’t waste time to welcome the newest house guest. He jumped to her knees, and Elle crouched down to pet his head.  
“Well aren’t you cute?” She asked. Dog barked loudly, as if to answer. Elle laughed. John couldn’t help the smile, that sneaked to his face. As Elle wanted to get up from the ground, he could see her swaying, and closed the distance to her, to steady her with his arm around her waist.  
“Okay. Maybe I should be resting.” She said sighing, silently thanking John.  
“I’m getting you to the guestroom, come.” He slowly guided her to the stairs, helping her up.  
Elle couldn’t help but notice the many pictures of John and the brunette woman in the hallway. That must have been Helen.  
“You look happy.” She said, as they walked up. John looked at the picture, Elle was looking at. It was their wedding day. Only a handful of people had been there.  
“That was a long time ago.”  
“Suits you.” She said and let him guide her up the stairs.  
“I’ll be just down the hall. It has been a long day, and I need to make a few calls. You okay?”  
“Yes. Thank you. I’m just going to sleep for a while.”  
“Good. I’ll wake you for dinner. And then you get a shortcut curse in technology of the 21st century.” He teased, standing in the doorway.  
“Can’t wait.” Elle yawned again.  
He tried to get dog out of the bedroom but failed.  
“Let him be. I like having him here.” Elle said.  
“Okay. I’m going to check on you in an hour.” John smiled and closed the door behind him.

After he had called at the Continental to arrange his stuff being send to his home, he had to call his contractor.  
“Is it done?” A voice with a heavy French accent asked.  
“I already told you that. I expect the rest of my payment until tomorrow. Otherwise I will inform the high table.”  
“It will be paid today. Pleasure doing business with you.”  
“Thanks.” John disconnected the call and let himself fall back on his bed. He would never ever again do business with the French again. The Russians were definitely better to handle.  
The last week had been one trip down memory lane. He had told Helen that he had been married once, but he never told her the real reason, they weren’t together.

Love had never been a problem. He was pretty sure Elle loved him like he loved her. They had met shortly after John had finished his work with the marines. He already was doing business with Marcus at that point. Elle had been working at a bakery not far from the Continental back then. Marcus had loved their cheesecake. That a deadly man like him could enjoy something like cheesecake, had been funny to John back then. He couldn’t help the sadness, that came over him, when he thought about his friend. He hadn’t deserve to die like that.  
A sound down the hall startled him out of his thoughts. Elle, he thought and got up to check on her. He slowly opened the door and saw her tossing her head around in her bed, a whimper coming from her.

“Hey. Shh. Elle Honey.” He tried to wake her up, she obviously was having a nightmare.  
When she didn’t wake, he climbed into the bed beside her, and put his arms around her.  
“Wake up Elisabeth.” He shook her a little, until her eyes opened. She pushed against him and almost fell out of the bed.  
“Easy, Elle.” He grabbed her around her waist, to stop her from falling out.  
She breathed heavy, until she relaxed in his arms.  
“Nightmare?” John asked. Elle rested her head on his chest.  
“Felt very real.”  
“Want to tell me what it was about?”  
“It was only bits and pieces. I was in a dark room, chained to the wall. I remember being scared, but I woke before the heavy door opened again.”  
John visibly stiffed beneath her.  
“You’re okay now. Nothing will happen to you here. I promise.” Elle had noticed him stiffening beneath her, but decided she didn’t wanted to know why at this point. Not now at least.

They continued to lay in bed, until they both fell asleep. Arm in Arm.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a week later when they finally settled into things. John brought Elle to therapy every two days and Doctor Miller gave his okay to continue telling Elle bits and pieces. Starting with technology of the 21st century. Today John would tell her everything about the internet. Elle still couldn’t remember anything. That was until today.

“So, the internet.” She smirked, as she sat at the kitchen counter, watching John cook.

“Okay. Where to start. The internet is the source of all evil as it is now everywhere. You can access the internet from your phone.”

“From my phone?” Elle looked at him, like he was insane. John handed her his IPhone.

“That’s a phone? It looks like a mini TV?” She sceptically took the phone in her hands. As she picked it up, the screen showed a picture of John and Helen.

“I’m sure you somewhere got your own phone.” John looked up, and saw Elle looking down at the picture on his phone.

“I can’t even begin to understand, how weird this must be for you.” He said.

“It’s a little easier, because you don’t look the same, but still. Yes it’s weird. Seeing you so happy on all these pictures, makes me regret we didn’t take more when…”

“When we were married.” He finished, She nodded.

John continued to cut the vegetables into pieces, before he put them in a pan.

“Since when can you cook?” Elle asked him.

“I picked some stuff up, when we separated. Still never got close to your skills.”

“Well it smells delicious.”

“Let’s hope it tastes like something.” He winked.

“You tell me, that Donald Trump is the President of the United States?” Elle asked as they watched the news. John had taken the last 3 hours to tell her everything he thought of she had to know.

“For at least another year.”

“Maybe the taxi should have hit me harder.” She groaned.

“Don’t joke about that.” John said.

“Sorry.” She whispered looking at him. They sat on opposite ends of Johns couch, Dog between them.

There was a commercial about Greece on the TV, when Elle said.

“I loved it in Santorini. I remember sitting on the beach by myself for hours until I had to get back to the hotel. Best vacation I ever had.”

She probably didn’t even think about what she said. John looked at her. She was still looking at the TV.

“When was that?” He asked.

“Uhm… Marc and I had broken up earlier that year, so 2014?” She looked from the TV to John, who looked surprised at her.

“What?” She asked.

“You remembered.” John said. Elle gasped. _She remembered_.

“Oh my god. I do. I remember. I even remember the delayed flight on my way back. I remember the food. I remember…” She remembered Marc. Tears sprung to her eyes. She could feel her heart breaking all over again. Hugging herself tightly she tried to control her breathing. It felt like the months after they separated came back to her in one tiny moment, when she remembered Marc. His face. His laugh. His love. His betrayal. Him fucking her best friend. After 7 years together.

“Shhh.” Elle felt John’s arms around her, him sitting down beside her, almost pulling her onto his lap. Soothing he rubbed her back, until she calmed a little.

John had no idea what she remembered. He selfishly hoped it wasn’t what he thought. He enjoyed their time together to much.

“It hurts. It feels like they cheated me all over again.” Elle whispered, Tears still running down her face.

“Who did?” John asked softly, stroking her hair.

“Marc. I’ve been together with him for 7 years, before I found out he had been sleeping with my best friend.” She tried to focus on John’s heartbeat to stay calm.

“I’m so sorry Elle.” John whispered, trying to hold in the tears that formed in his eyes as well.

“If this hurts so much, I don’t want to know what happened between us. I never loved Marc as much as I do love you.” Elle murmured into his shirt.

“I’m so, so sorry, Elle.” John held her tighter, letting his tears flow.

John woke up to the smell of pancakes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had pancakes.

Slowly he made his way down the stairs to find Elle cooking in his kitchen. The picture in front of him felt so right, that he had to take a deep breath before he sat down at the counter.

“Good morning.” He said, grabbing the mug of coffee Elle handed him.

“Good morning. I made pancakes.” She smiled.

“I can see that.” He smirked.

“Chocolate chip with peanut butter and bananas? Still your favourite?” She asked, taking a bite of the bacon, leaning with her hip at the counter, waiting for the pancakes to finish. This whole situation felt like he had jumped back in time. They used to spend their weekends exactly like that.

“Where on earth did you find chocolate chips in this kitchen?” He asked.

“In the cabinets? You actually have quite the collection of baking stuff.”

“Helen used to bake. Well she tried. I guess we never got rid of it.” He leaned back in his chair, drinking his coffee.

“How did you two meet?” Elle asked. John smiled at that question.

“I went to one of her exhibitions. She was a very talented photographer. She asked me, what I thought of this picture, because I was standing in front of it for a while and I told her, that I had been trying to find someone who worked there, so I could buy it. It’s the big photograph of the bridge in the hallway. I asked her out for dinner and we got married 6 months later.”

Elle packed the pancakes for John on a plate, and put the peanut butter on it.

“She sounds like an incredible person.”

“She was.” John smiled.

“You’re allowed to grieve, John. I know you think you need to take care of me, but as soon as I get the okay, I’m going to move back to my place. Well, if I remember where it is. What I’m trying to say is, please take care of yourself. You look like you could need a week of sleep.” She put the plate with the pancakes in front of him, sitting down next to him.

“Thank you, Elisabeth.” He said honestly.

“You’re very welcome Jardani.” She winked, before they ate their breakfast in silence.

They spent the rest of the day mostly outside, walking with dog. John showed Elle the whole property and he had to promise to play tennis with her at some point.

“How come you got this house?” Elle asked, as they were walking by the lake.

“I wanted to get out of New York. If I have to work, I can stay there, but I wanted to be able to not see someone for days, if I wanted too, and still get outside. I guess I got old.” He laughed, throwing a stick for dog.

“I envy that. All I could manage is moving from Queens to Brooklyn. It was always a dream to move out of New York.”

“Do you remember your apartment?” John asked her.

“I do remember bits and pieces.”

“Do you remember anything more than what you did yesterday?” John threw the stick again.

“I dreamed something. But I’m not quite sure what to think of it.”

“What was it?”

“It was you. And Marcus.” She began. John sighed.

“You two were arguing in our living room in Queens. But I couldn’t hear what about. But I feel like this was the last time I saw him. I don’t know why.”

“It was the last time you saw him.” John told her.

“So it was a memory?”

“Yes. Yes it was.”

“What were you talking about?” She asked.

“I wanted to quit my job, but Marcus had already confirmed with our contractor.”

“Your job….” She said. “John I dreamed something else, but I thought it was only a dream.”

“What did you dream about?”

“We were out for dinner and there was this guy. He was speaking Russian and you told me to take cover and then there were gunshots.”

John remembered that night. It was a week after the day she lost her memories. It was the night he told her, what exactly he was doing for a living.

“After that we were in our living room and we were talking, but I woke up, before the conversation finished.” Elle looked at him. John had become quiet.

“I told you that night that I work for the high table.” John said after a while. Elle tried to think. Something about that sounded familiar.

“You told me, that you got in there because of Marcus, right?” She asked. John nodded.

“He got me in there and I’m still not sure if I should be thankful for that.”

“So you’re still doing it?” She asked, stopping in her tracks.

_I can take better care of us if I do that. _The words sounded in her head. _I don’t want you to kill people, just so we can have a better life._ Her voice.

_“Jar’ you can’t keep doing this. I wanted us to have a normal life. How do you even get in something like that?” Elle asked, standing in the window overlooking the busy street underneath their apartment in Queens._

_“Marcus told me it was good money. And it is. But I want out. I told him that today. I want out of the High Table. I just have to finish this one thing, and then I’ll be out.”_

_He stood next to her, taking her hands into his. She looked at him. How could this sweet man be a killer?_

_“Promise me.” She demanded, looking at him. She loved him so much. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing him._

_“I promise.”_

“John, are you still killing people?”


	4. Chapter 4

John found Elle in front of the fire place, when he got home later that day. He had been out with dog. And Elle needed some space. He felt like exactly like 20 years ago, when he had to tell her.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly.

“I think so, yeah.” She nodded. Dog immediately rested his head on her lap.

“Anything for dinner?” He asked. He wasn’t sure how to talk to her.

“Can we order some pizza? I think we need to talk.” She said. 

“I remember now. I remember everything.”

John was pacing in front of his house. He was waiting for the pizza delivery. But if he was honest with himself, all he wanted was to run. He couldn’t look into her eyes again and see the hurt he had caused. He couldn’t relive it.

_It had been a normal day until he got the call. He woke up, said goodbye to his wife, who had to go to work. She had a surprise for him later that day. He had to go to see Marcus later, to check on a couple of points for their last job._

_He finally made the decision to quit. Quit working for the high table. It came at a big price, but Elle was worth it. He wanted to grow old with her. Have children. He wanted to be a father. He had to smile at the thought of Elle. He had wanted to tell her earlier, but there wasn’t a book that said “So you’re an assassin. How to tell your wife.” He shook his head. He was lucky that she even talked to him anymore. He had no idea how he would live without her. And he had no idea that he would have to find out rather sooner than later._

_The call that changed his life forever came on the same day. October the 18th. He had just got home from an errand and was wondering where his wife went. He picked up the phone._

_“Jar.” Marcus voice was deathly._

_“What happened?”_

_“Our latest contractor wasn’t very happy when I told him it would be the last time you would work for them. They like you and your skills.”_

_“What do they want?” He asked._

_“They want you to make a choice. Her life or yours.” Marcus said. John sank down the wall and grew pale._

_“Where is she?” He asked._

_“I don’t know for sure. I only know that they have men and they want you to make a choice until the end of today.”_

_“I will kill them all.”_

_“I thought you might say that. Come to the Continental. I will have more information by then.”_

John shook his head as the delivery man drove away. He had paid for the pizza and wanted to get back into his house, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to take 3 steps and get into his house.

_Marcus was waiting for him at the Continental. He was standing together with the manager. A man called Winston he had met once before._

_“Mr. Jovanovich. Pleasure to meet you again.” Winston welcomed him._

_“Thanks. Marcus?”_

_“I know where she is.”_

_“Then let me get the weapons and let’s go.” _

_“With this many people, we need to take precautions. You need a suit. And knifes. Weapons alone won’t help us.”_

_“I’m taking you down now. We should be finished shortly. The men will be here then.” Winston said, waiting for John to follow him._

“Come in John.” He hadn’t noticed Elle coming out.

“I can’t.” He shook his head.

“It’s your house.”

“Keep it.” That earned a laugh from Elle.

“You know we never really talked about that night. I think enough time has passed, don’t you think?” She asked softly.

“How can you be so calm? You should hate me.” John shook his head. He still hated himself

“Come in, and I will tell you exactly why I don’t hate you.”

_Marcus drove them to the abandoned factory building, where Elle was held hostage. John hoped for the sake of the kidnapers life’s that she was still alive._

_“There is an old vault in the cellar of this building. I think she will be there.” Marcus explained as John watched the map._

_“I’m going to take them from up the roof. I’ll take two snipers with me. The rest will be with you. You’ll be okay right?” Marcus asked. John only nodded. He had to put the rage he felt aside to get Elle out. _

They sat on the couch. Again on opposite ends. Eating their pizza. John wanted to joke about pineapple on pizza, being a disgrace, but he couldn’t bring himself to it.

“I never hated you John.” Elle said after a while. John didn’t look at her.

“I was angry. Angry at myself that I let them take me. Angry at you for doing business with people like that. Angry at them for taking me in the first place, just to prove a point. But I never hated you. I just couldn’t look at you.” She took a bite from the pizza, before she continued.

“They hurt me so much on that night. Sometime I can still feel the knife….” She breathed in deep, trying to keep herself calm. She had talked about it so often, but it still hurts.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” John whispered.

“Yes I do. I need you to understand.”

_The first thing she noticed was darkness when she gained back consciousness. She tried to sit herself up, but couldn’t. There was something around her wrists. She tried to feel what it was. A chain. Panicked she tried to escape them._

_“Don’t try. Keep still and I won’t have to hurt you. Well not as much as I intended too.” A voice with a heavy Russian accent came from the corner of the room._

_“Who are you?” She asked._

_“That doesn’t matter. What matters does, that Jardani will come for you and he will choose you.”_

_“What do you mean?” Elle asked._

_“See, he’s on his way to become someone big. That was until he decided to get out. Enter you.”_

_“What do I have to do with that? I didn’t even know about his work until 2 weeks ago.”_

_“Ah yes. See, there’s the problem. He decided back then, that he would quit, and I need him.”_

_“I bet there are others who are good at what he does.”_

_“And that’s where you’re wrong. He’s the best.”_

_The light went on, and she finally could see the face of the man, she was talking to. But she also saw the knife in his hand, as he made his way towards her._

“There’s nothing to understand. I should have been there sooner. I should have get you out sooner. I…” John shook his head. He felt her hand on his arm. He looked up.

“You need to understand, that it wasn’t your fault.” Elle said firmly, looking into his eyes. He had the same expression in his eyes as 20 years ago.

“It wasn’t your fault, it was the fault of these Russians who took me.”

John looked at her.

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s the truth. You didn’t take me. They did. You didn’t torture me. They did. You didn’t put the knife in my stomach. They did.” Her voice was shaking.

“You know what you did?” She asked.

“What?” John whispered. Her arms closed around him until she said.

“You saved me.”

_John couldn’t shake the rage from him. He was so angry, he couldn’t breathe. He showed the few men they had brought with him into the building and waited. Waited for the men to come out again. But all he heard was the gunshots. And nobody came back out. Breathing in deep, he focused on his goal, Elle, and stepped into the building. _

_The first thing he did was switch off the lights. They would be blind for him, but he could still see them. He didn’t know how many man he had killed with his bare hands on his way to the cellar._

_“Decided to join us, yes?” He heard a deep voice with a heavy russion accent._

_“Where is she?” He asked growling._

_“Oh she’s right behind this door. Unconscious.”_

_“What do you want?”_

_“I want your services. In exchange she can stay alive.”_

_“What makes you think, I won’t kill you right away?” _

_“Maybe the two men inside of there with her, who won’t hesitate killing her, when I don’t enter in the next 2 minutes.”_

_The lights went on in that moment and John looked around, to make out the face of the man he was talking too. As he looked around he saw the many dead bodies he had left behind. He heard a laugh._

_“See? You are made for this. You killed them all by yourself. Choose!” The man demanded._

_“Let me see her first.” John breathed. He took deep breaths. He had to make sure Elle was okay._

_“I guess I could let you do that.” The man went to the door, knocking three times. The heavy door opened and he felt a gun on the back of his head. He hadn’t even noticed someone behind him._

_He was pushed to the open door, finally being able to see his wife._

_“What have you done to her?” He could see her bleeding._

_“Nothing she won’t survive. Yet.”_

_John thought hard of a way, that would let him take the men out and get his wife out of here, but he couldn’t think of one. He was out of weapons. He didn’t even have a knife left._

_“Let me get her to safety and you will have me.” He finally said._

_“Perfect. We let you take her. But be at the Continental in 2 days, waiting for instructions. Don’t try to mess with us.”_

_With that all the men slowly made their way out of the building. But not without taking their eyes off of John, who ran into the room to Elle._

_“Elle?” He kneeled down in front of her, taking the chains from her carefully. He scanned her body for injuries. He could hear the gunshots outside, and was thankful for Marcus being there, taking care of the Russians._

_He heard her groan, before she suddenly opened her eyes and pushed against him._

_“Leave me alone.” She screamed, trying to get away from him._

_“It’s me. Elle. I’m here.” He tried to soothe her. Elle stopped screaming and looked at him scared._

_“Are they gone?” She asked him._

_“Yes they are. I’m taking you home.” He promised. Elle couldn’t stop the tears. Shaking she let her hands wander to her stomach, and couldn’t help he painful scream she let out. There was blood everywhere._

_“No. No. No. No.” She repeated._

_“I’m getting you to a doctor now.” John looked at her, trying to hide his desperation._

_Elle just cried. John picked her up._

_“Close your eyes, Elle.” She did so without hesitation, burying her face in his neck, as John carried her out of the building. She couldn’t stop the tears._

_“I’m so sorry Jardani.” She cried. He shook his head._

_“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. It’s my fault.”_

_“No. You don’t understand. I wanted to tell you today.” Her whole body was shaking._

_“Tell me what?” He asked, finally stepping outside. He wanted to look around to search for Marcus but focused on his wife. She opened her eyes. Red from crying._

_“That I was pregnant.”   
_


	5. Chapter 5

“Even if you had been there earlier, it wouldn’t have changed a thing.” Elle whispered. They were laying in each others arms on the couch. John had long given up, on trying to hide his tears.

Elle tried to soothe him. To see this strong man so heartbroken, broke her all over again.

“I never hated you. I just couldn’t stand to look at you. I kept feeling responsible for everything that happened. For the miscarriage. I could see the hurt in your eyes every time you looked at me. And when you began to stay away for longer and longer, I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Elle tried to explain.

“And I couldn’t look at you without seeing my failure. I am the reason they took you in the first place. I love you so much. It still hurts.” John whispered.

“I know.” Elle said, trying to pull him even closer.

“You know, he or she would be 18 years old by now. I always wonder what would have happened, if we had stayed together. Maybe we would have tried for another child.” Elle looked up at John, laying on his chest. It felt so good to have his arms around her, she never wanted to leave again.

“I think we would. I would have gotten out, and we would live in a slightly bigger apartment in Queens with our 3 children.”

“Three?” She asked and chuckled.

“Two girls and a boy. And I would restore books.”

“You still do that?”

“It calms me down.” He explained.

“Are you still doing it?” Elle asked.

“What?”

“Killing people. What happened to you after the divorce?”

John sighed.

“The night I got you out changed everything. They called me the bogeyman after that. I worked there a long time. Too long, until I met Helen. She never knew about it. To be honest she was the reason I claimed that made me quit, but she was just one of the many reasons. I fell head over heels for her, and for once in my life I wanted to do something right. So I tried.”

“You did many things right in your life. You just didn’t want to see them.”

“When Helen died, I tried really hard. She knew I would find a way to blame myself, so she got me a dog. It was delivered after her funeral. It was a little puppy called Daisy. Unfortunately that night the son of one of my old employers broke into my house, knocked me out, stole my car and killed Daisy. So I did what I had to, I got back in.”

“But you’re out now?”

John sighed again, rubbing his tired eyes.

“I finished my last job on the day I got the call that you had an accident. My phone keeps blowing up, but I haven’t decided what to do yet.” He answered honestly. He could feel her nodding on his chest. He wanted to tell her, that he would quit for her. But he couldn’t.

“I think I want to quit my Job.” Elle said after a while.

“I haven’t been happy for a long time. I have no family. I have no friends. Sometimes it feels like I’m alone in this world. Maybe I should have kept the amnesia. I liked being married to you again, even if it was for only for two weeks and only in my head.” She laughed a little.

“Then quit your job and move in with me.” John said.

“Right.” She chuckled.

“I’m serious.” He said. Elle pushed herself up from his chest, resting her weight on her arm, to look at him.

“Move in with me. Or let’s find a new place to live. I don’t care. I love having you around. I love waking up, knowing you are near. I love you, Elle.” He looked into her eyes.

“I can’t just quit my job and move in with you.”

“Why not? What keeps you in New York? And don’t say money. I have enough for the both of us.”

“I’m in my forty’s. I can’t just quit my job and sit around all day. That’s not something a sane person does. I would need to find a new job, before I quit.”

“You could open your own bakery. It was always your dream back in the day. I could sell the house and we could just leave. Tell me what you want to do, and I’ll go with you if you want me to.” She could see the honesty in his eyes. Softly she reached down to pull a stray of hair that had fallen into his eyes behind his ear. He was right. There was nothing holding her in New York. And with the money she would get from the accident she could open her bakery. Or travel the world. With him.

“I love you too, John” She whispered, before she closed the distance between them, and kissed his lips.

_3 years later, Dublin, Ireland_

“Mommy! Daddy keeps stealing the chocolate!” A high-pitched voice giggled across from her. Elle saw up from the counter, she was just decorating a cake on. John was sitting across from her, Emma next to him. She had John’s dark hair, but her curls.

“I would never do that Emma.” John acted shocked, before he slowly put another piece of a chocolate rose in his mouth, trying not to smile. Elle laughed.

“You’re not supposed to lie.” Emma tried to school John, who looked at Elle.

“I know. I’m sorry honey. But they are just so delicious.” He sighed and looked at his daughter. Emma tilted her head to the side, before she grabbed a chocolate rose herself and put it in her mouth. A smile spread to Elle’s face as she looked at her daughter and her husband. This is what it was supposed to be like, and she would treasure it, for the rest of their life’s.


End file.
